Q: Do you accept demos?
A: It depends what you mean. If you have a song or an album you think that I should hear then I would love to hear it. At the same time, we have never worked with a band based on getting a demo via email or in the mail (and both are the same to me, as I listen to everything genuine I get in either place). So if you are looking for someone to listen to your work, please send it over. But if all you want is a yes or no answer as to whether or not we will release it, the answer is going to be “no,” even if we love it, if our only exposure to your band is through a demo in the mail. Please also when sending demos DO NOT attach MP3 files or any other kind of files without emailing and asking first if I want mp3s. I will be just as likely to listen to something on bandcamp/anywhere else and the mp3 files take up too much space in my email.
Q: Okay, but I’m still going to send you my demo and expect an answer.
A: That’s not even a question. I will still try my hardest to listen to it though.
Q: I am a Manager™, will you talk to me about a band I Manage™?
Q: Just kidding, I’m not a Manager™, I have some other name for the vague services I provide that are the same as what a Manager™ does, but I’m not like other Manager™s. Will you talk to me about a band I love?
A: No. There a plenty of other labels that will talk to people like you but please stop bothering me.
Q: So how do you find bands?
A: Good question. 90% of the time it is bands that play with our other bands and are an active part of a music scene. The other 10% of the time it is bands Zach and I are in.
Q: I am having a problem with a download code.
A: Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Q: I am having a problem with an order.
A: Email email@example.com
Q: I ordered something and never received an email with tracking information?
A: That makes perfect sense as we are sending you a vinyl record/shirt/cd and not an application to college, a kidney, or a vial of Lorenzo’s oil and so tracking seems a bit excessive. If your order doesn’t show up in a reasonable amount of time send us an email and we will do our best to figure out why you didn’t get it yet, or just send a new one.
Q: My order came and the CD/LP wasn’t shrink-wrapped. Is this used or something someone returned?
A: We have been working very hard behind the scenes to reduce the amount of unnecessary waste we produce as a label. While some retail locations require shrink wrap for one reason or another we are trying to limit the amount of direct sales from either us or artists on tour that come shrink-wrapped.
Q: My record showed up but the jacket is minorly damaged, can you send me another one?
A: This is a complicated question. If you write me to ask, the answer will be yes, but before you write me to ask I want you to consider the amount of non-renewable resources involved in replacing that jacket, which itself is just meant to protect the sleeve protecting the record. It seems hard to argue that other industries to completely change their standards to conform with better environmental sustainability practices, and then not be willing to concede any chances in our own corner of the world. This is not me telling you to get lost and deal with it either, rather I would prefer a solution where I send you some money back in return to make up for the damage instead of sending you an entirely new record/part/etc.
Q: If you want to be so eco-friendly why don’t you just stop making physical stuff all together and just do everything digitally and via streaming?
A: Okay first of all altogether is one word not two. Second, it is actually digital music and especially streaming that is incredibly poisonous to the planet relative to physical music. A vinyl LP is infinitely recyclable; I am listening to vinyl and CDs at my house right now that have been through many hands and were originally manufactured in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. They were never thrown away and only needed to be made one time. A stream creates waste with each listen, it is essentially a Styrofoam cup or a plastic fork as far as creating waste with each one-time use. MP3s are not much better considering the new phone or listening device you need to buy to play them every few years, the headphones, the batteries, etc. Think of how many different devices you had to purchase and repurchase over the years to play your “waste free” mp3 files and then think of the record player or cd player, possibly even second hand, that you have had for most of your life.
Q: If I send an email to your personal email instead of firstname.lastname@example.org will you be more likely to reply to it?
A: No, in fact, I will be far less likely to read it because the mindset I am in when looking at my personal email is not one where I am listening to new music or helping people with orders and download code problems. I would never ignore something intentionally, but you need to understand that you will get a much faster reply if you email email@example.com, it gets checked many many times a day.
Q: Can I intern for you guys?
A: No. That would be ridiculous.
Q: How does your label navigate the emerging digital landscape of the music industry?
A: I don’t know.
Q: What is the future of the music industry?
A: If the scientists are to be believed, at some point the sun will blow up.
Q: Is there a limited version of _____________________?
Q: I’m some totally random person but I want you to do a huge favor for me and help convince a band on your label to play some event I am putting together, but were not going to be able to pay them anything.
A: The band might be totally interested but I am the wrong person to email, I am not an agent or a manager.
Q: Hi again, its me, the complete stranger you’ve never met before. You suck. You completely ruined _________________________ and I am going to send you an 8-page manifesto with incredibly valid points as to why you ruined my favorite band by changing them in some way that is unnoticeable to anyone else.
A: Duly noted.
Q: Yo dude. I own like three albums out of the 200 or so that you have released and am pretty much a Don Giovanni super fan so can you do some kind of huge favor for me even though I am probably someone that you would hate if you ever met in person?
A: Yeah, probably. I guess it depends what the favor is.
Q: Oi! I’m one of those drunk punx guys that lives in a gutter but somehow still has the means to listen to physical media and I was wondering if I send you some kind of letter with handwriting that is impossible to read but where I am basically asking you to take the time, money, and energy to send me free music just because I am some kind of a punk, will you do it?
A: Yes, of course. Seriously.
Q: Greetings Mr. Giovanni. I am some kind of professional music industry thing and I have some kind of awful service to offer you. Can I call you sometime so I can aggressively tell you why you need me to take your business to the next level?
A: Definitely not.
Q: I love ___________________ so much that I feel like the only way I could express it is by taking them home and chopping them up.
A: Please do not express your appreciation for any of our artists by taking them home and chopping them up.
Q: I love ___________________ so much that I want to wear their skin.
A: Please do not express your appreciation for any of our artists by wearing their flesh.
Q: Why don’t you guys release split 7”s?
A: Because they are generally just an excuse for bands to release music as a product rather than as some kind of well thought out release.
Q: Hey, I run a record label you have never heard of and I am looking for ten or eleven other labels around the world to help release a 7” by a thrash band that you also haven’t heard of. Their music is uninspired and so is the album art, but in the spirit of a punk community that has never given anything back to you, do you want to help out with this one?
Q: Hey, I run a label and we have released 3 cassette tapes so far from bands that have nothing to do with your label and who I wouldn’t imagine anyone who would buy things from your label would care about. In fact, now that I think about it I can’t actually name any of the bands on Don Giovanni. But anyway, can I dump on trade you many copies of these tapes in return for some of your best-selling fully-packaged vinyl releases?
Q: Yo whats up man? I love your label and all of your bands, in fact, I’ve been a huge fan for basically my entire life and I am also just a really cool guy and I think you’re cool too. Oh, did I mention I am also an ad sales person? Do you want to take out a very expensive ad in a magazine that has literally never written about any of your bands. Ever. Who is even on your label again? Anyway, lets get on the phone sometime and chat and ill give you the sickest ad rates of all time.
A: OF COURSE NOT.
Q: I wrote you an email about something relatively unimportant, but should I also tweet at you and copy some of your bands on the tweet to make sure you got the email? If you want I could also send you a private Facebook message about the email or even comment on a random unrelated Instagram post or something like that. Basically, let me know the best way to bother you at an extreme level about something really small?
A: I reply to all emails as soon as I can. Sometimes stuff does get lost in the shuffle but the quickest way to get it back to the top of the pile is just to follow up to the original email.
Q: Hi, we are a band that for all intents and purposes does not exist yet, however we somehow assembled a radical team that includes a totally dope lawyer that is really just about the music, a fresh manager that is really just about the music, and one or two other middle-men that genuinely just love the music. I think [label name] would be the perfect home for our band. What do you say?
A: Please stop sending me emails like this.
Q: I have a question and it is answered above but I still really want to email you about it.
A: Ugh, fine.